Parents Are Peacemakers (2 of 7): Charlotte Mason Parenting Lessons

 

The Arbour by Emanuel-Phillips Fox (1910)

           

      Welcome to the 2nd installment of the booklet, Parents Are Peacemakers! (See the 1st here.)  This section is still an introduction of sorts as it will help you and/or your group to begin thinking and focusing on what peace in the home might or might not look like.  Remember, these are intended to be 30 minute talks but you might be tempted to rush ahead to the main sections - please don't do that!  Take the time to think about the questions posed. And while this was written in 1944, it is still completely relevant to our time. Perhaps think about updated examples or situations as you go along. Oh, and I'd love to hear your feedback as you go through this. How are you using it?  Has it been effective?  Where has it led you or your group? Either leave a comment or send me an email at sageparnassus@gmail.com.

           Teaching from Peace,

           Nancy

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I.                    MAKING PEACE AT HOME.

Synopsis :     (1) Making and winning the Peace.

                   (2) Must be done at home.

                   (3) Different kinds of Homes (Discussion).

                   (4) When people are getting what they need, peace comes.

                   (5) Common needs (Discussion).

                   (6) The four needs (Questions).

1.       We often hear it said that “After we have won the war we must win the peace.” Already people are planning ahead, planning for education, for employment, for insurance; for feeding hungry Europe, for building up the cities. We leave these things to the leaders of the nations. All we can do is to read and listen and think, say a word here and there to approve or criticize. Yet we must “win the peace,” I must, you must, not just Mr. So and So, Minister for Such and Such, but you and I.

If we want to make a dress or to make a cake we find a pattern or a recipe. Where shall we find a recipe to follow if we wish to make peace? It is hard to find. A good recipe tells us what to use, how to use it. “Take such and such, mix --, bake in a -- oven, for so many minutes or hours.” If some good angel gave a recipe for peace he would say: -- “Take an ordinary family, mix it with love and understanding and bake it in your homes for every day of every year.”

2.     We talk about Housewives. It takes Househusbands and Housewives to make peace at home. Parents are the peacemakers of the world and if they fail then war must come whoever our rulers may be.

Let us think about homes and houses. Let us each think of a house, one we know well, where we like to go because it is happy and friendly and the young people and older ones get on well together.

3.       DISCUSSION: description of actual homes provided by the meeting, use them when going on with the talk.

Has anyone a home in their thoughts where things go wrong? Quarrels, nagging, sulks, temper, discomfort?  A broken home, one that is beginning to crack?

That family of which you told us –the children were noisy, all about the place – but they could be quiet when told. Mrs. X. gave a good tea, not just “Now Mary run round for the fish and chips,” at any moment of the evening. Mr. X was a bit tired after his work but he had his tea and his pipe and he and Tom mended the cycle together. They all seemed to be getting what they needed: Mr. X needed rest, his wife needed that chat with you, the children needed play and activity after school, Tom needed help, they all needed their tea and companionship. That other quarrelsome family – everyone wanted to have his own way and meant to get it too, no matter what the needs of others might be.

Then again, that  empty home to which Nancy returned after school was over, let herself in, gave herself tea, amused herself alone and put herself to bed. Father and Mother were both out at a cinema, two or three evenings a week, was it? Nancy was quite used to it. What a lonely place! Loneliness does not make peace, it makes a hungry heart and fear is round the corner.

4.       The peaceful home was the one where each member of the family was getting what he needed. What do people need? Let us think of that. There is a difference between what people want, what they would really like and what they really need. Certain things we all need, grown ups, children, everyone.

5.       DISCUSSION: group the suggestions into needs of body, needs of mind, e.g., food, warmth, healing – love, justice, hope, companionship, security, etc., etc.

A long list –do you notice that in a really happy home they all get attention? Not all at once, all the time, but each need gets answered, some time, in some way. We are in need and we feel a desire, we want something deeply, passionately –affection, notice, a friend, quiet, whatever it may be. Our needs are the ground of our human nature from which our thoughts, hopes, fears and joys grow up. Children are especially needy people. That is why Fathers and Mothers must be peacemakers, must give loving thought and care in order that the children may have their four great needs supplied – Leadership, Healing, Feeding, and Teaching.

QUESTIONS.

Google doc - Parents Are Peacemakers - Making Peace at Home (2 of 7) 

Parents Are Peacemakers (1 of 7)